Dawn of the Geeks

Time to change how we spell wurdz?

WASHINGTON - When “say,” “they” and “weigh” rhyme, but “bomb,” “comb” and “tomb” don’t, wuudn’t it maek mor sens to spel wurdz the wae thae sound?

Those in favor of simplified spelling say children would learn faster and illiteracy rates would drop. Opponents say a new system would make spelling even more confusing.

illiterate - violating prescribed standards of speech or writing.

Well obviously if we redefine our standards so that we don’t have standards then we’d have a zero illiteracy rate. When all else fails, lower the bar.

While we’re at it we should also redefine murder so that killing people unlawfully is no longer considered murder. That way, the murder rate would drop and we can all pat ourselves on the back.